Anger and Stress Management

I just finished reading "Anger and Stress Management God's Way" by Wayne Mack. These are before and after pictures:
LUCAS STOP BOTHERING YOUR SISTER!!!!!

ANd this is after reading the anger management book:
Lucas sweetie - You really shouldn't bother your sister. Please stop now.

But seriously, it was a good book, and to help me remember what I learned from the book, I'm going to summarize here, mostly for my benefit. If you never get angry at your children or your spouse, then please feel free to skip this and go on to the next person's blog you want to check.

Our anger is sinful when:

1. ... we become angry for the wrong reasons (selfishness, or because our perceived "rights" have been denied) ie. One might have a child that does not go to sleep quickly at night and that child might spoil your quiet, peaceful evening and take away your "right" to rest. If one were to get angry at that child, that unfortunately would be the wrong reason. Glad that never happens to me.
2. ...we allow our anger to control us or dictate how we act.

3. ... it involves brooding and fretting. "In other words, churning our anger means that, in our minds, we are playing the recording of what someone did or said to us that angered us, over and over and over again. And every time we play it over in our minds, the recording gets a little louder and a little stronger. Eventually, that one recording is ingrained in our minds to the point that it lays by itself without deliberate thought."

4. ... when we become resentful or bear a grudge

5. ... when we attack the person with whom we are angry, OR attack a substitute. Again, one might get angry at their children when really they are angry at their husband. Again, I'm very glad that never happens to me.

How to make anger "good":

1. ... deal with problems when they arise before they make you angry. Instead of saying "IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME ...", deal with the disobedience the first time they disobey.

2. ... learn to overlook the small things and have less rules. eg. Children are born silly and I just need to accept that instead of letting it drive me crazy. Or, if one's husband chews his gum like a cow, think of it as practice in overlooking the smaller things.

3. ... remind yourself that you CAN control your anger. Remember the last time you were in a good argument and the phone rang and you stopped yelling long enough to sweetly say Hello how are you in your fakest sweet voice? Yes, we can control ourselves. Proverbs 29:11 A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back. Ouch. When we fail, it's because we chose to be angry. Double ouch. And, on top of that he says we can never excuse, justify or rationalize our anger. No saying "I'm sorry I got angry at you, ... but you made me so angry when you cut the blinds off the window and ripped your screen out..." Triple ouch. Yes, that really happened.

4. ... take time to examine the reasons for our anger. Why am I angry? What is the best response? "The reason for most of our anger is we have an agenda and someone is standing in the way of our fulfilling our agenda."

He encourages us to make a plan of how we'll deal with anger, practice the plan and patiently wait for new habits to form (which could take 2-6 months of practice)!!

Drugs Anyone?

Lucas woke up crying with a sore throat this morning, so off to the doctor we went only to find out that he had a double ear infection! (I think its his second ear infection he's ever had.) Add that to the pink eye he had last week and the mysterious headaches he's had off and on the past 6 weeks, a "bumpy rash" he's had for a few months that we've received different opinions about ... the boy has been consuming an ENORMOUS amount of medicine lately.

Here's the list -

1. Antihistamine to hopefully stop the headaches - dr thinks its sinus related - take for 30 days!

2. Pink eye medicine for 5 days - finished yesterday

3. Amoxicilin for the ears and throat - take for 10 days and then possibly repeat to see if it helps the headaches

4. MOtrin for headaches - 3 tsp every 6 hours - he has gone through an entire bottle of motrin in 3 days (and his head never stops hurting!)

5. Sore throat spray to alleviate the pain in his throat

6. Nasonex nasal spray - for allegies, and possibly to help the headaches? I don't remember anymore what that one is for ...

7. To stop the rash - Aquaphor lotion on his bumps, change the soap to dove soap and put bleach in the bath water (not so sure about that last one...)

8. Neosporin on the cut and bruise below his eye where his sister threw a toy teapot ...

9. daily vitamin - to keep him healthy! ha ha ha ha

And to add to all the fun - he threw up this afternoon - in bed - on his clothes - and the only thing I had in my hand at the time was Marisa's raincoat. FYI - raincoats make good buckets.

It's 9:20pm - what will my night be like? Can't wait to find out...

Happy Birthday Marisa (this year)

We started off her special day with chocolate chip pancakes on "The Red Plate". Does anyone else have one of these? They are great. It says "You are special today" and you're to use it to make someone in your family feel special. I think I got it at the Hallmark store. It comes with a black permanent marker and I write on the back the date and the occasion.

I can't believe my baby girl is 5 years old! This is a momentous occasion. I remember when Lucas turned 5, on the day of his party I was frantically running around trying to get everything ready, when I stopped and it hit me that he was FIVE YEARS OLD. I remembered many times when he was younger and absolutly bouncing off the walls with energy. I thought he would never make it to his 5th birthday party. I thought I would kill him first. :-) I almost broke down and cried that moment with the thought - he made it to 5 and I didn't kill him! Well, now another child has survived the first 5 years! Or is it another mother has survived the first 5 years! I am so thankful for my baby girl! I love her so much and I'm so glad GOd gave her to me!

Her party was today and here's her cake! I wish I could say I decorated it, but I didn't. I made the cake, (the skirt is the cake made in a large round glass measuring cup), I cut the hole in the middle and stuffed the barbie in the cake. (First of all Barbie needed surgery to remove the bottom portions of her legs because she was too tall. Barbie now gets all the good parking spaces everywhere she goes!) I frosted the white skirt, and then Victor took over. Yes, my dear husband decorated the whole cake. He wouldn't let me take a picture of him doing it though. Maybe he should forget looking for construction management jobs, and start decorating cakes.

Job Update

Many of you have stopped asking about what's happening in our life - which I'm thankful for since the answer is always "I don't know!" - I feel rather silly being so clueless. We have been waiting to hear from one job - the only prospect right now actually. He's had 4 or 5 interviews with this company - I guess they want to be REALLY sure he's the right guy. Well, they emailed today that they will contact him in 2 weeks for another interview. Kind of hilarious really, but at least they're still interested, so we're thankful for that. So, that's it! Just a little update to tell you we still have no clue what's happening. This job would be here in Southern California, doing a bit of traveling in the area. A little different from what he's done in the past, but maybe a welcome change? Who knows. He's getting antsy and would like to be working, so hopefully something will come up soon. I'm amazed at the peace that God has given me and I still am enjoying having him home! I will miss him when he goes back to work.